Coming Home

A father waits upon a son
A mother prays for his return
I just called to see
If you still have a place for me
We know that life took us apart
But you're still within my heart
I go to sleep and feel your spirit next to me
I'll make it home again
I pray you'll fall in love again
Just say you'll entertain the possibility
I learned enough from my mistakes
Learned from all I didn't say
Won't you wait for me
 
It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home
 
We fight to stay alive
But somebody's got to die
It's so strange to me
A new year, a new enemy
Another soldier gone to war
Another story told before
Now it's told again
It seems the wars will never end
But we'll make it home again
Back where we belong again
We're holding on to when
We used to dare to dream
We pray we live to see
Another day in history
Yes we still believe
 
It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home
 
I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming
You know that I'll be coming home
 
It may be long to get me there
It feels like I've been everywhere
But someday I'll be coming home
Round and round the world will spin
Oh, the circle never ends
So you know that I'll be coming home
 
Not too long before Shawn died, he sent me this song in an e-mail and told me to listen to it, and think of him. For a long time I didn't listen to it because it made me sad. Until that last day. The day he died, for reasons I still can't explain, I listened to it over and over and over again. And for the first time during his whole deployment, I felt at peace- because I knew that he'd be coming home. As the song says, "Round and round the world will spin, oh, the circle never ends, so you know that I'll be coming home." For awhile after he died I was so angry. Angry at the world. Angry at the Army. Angry at Shawn. People that haven't lost a loved one don't understand that anger. They say, "how can you be mad at someone because they died?" But it happens. It's one of the stages of grief. And I was angry. Angry because he had promised to come home to me. It was a long time before I realized that he did keep his word, he did come home to me. Just not the way either of us wanted. Now this song has different meaning. I still cry every time I hear it. But now I cry because I know he's home. I know he loved me more than life itself, and I am lucky to have had the absolute joy of having him in my life. I am lucky to have had his love. And I didn't lose that love. That love just comes from a different place now. He didn't choose to leave. He never would have left me, if he had had a choice. I do think he knew though. I think he knew he wasn't coming home. I'll explain that more at some point.
He did come home to me. And in my heart, he never really left.