Early Days With Henry

The past few days I've been thinking a lot about my first few months with Henry. I wish I could convey the feelings of those days. I needed so badly to get away and he offered me a place to stay for a weekend. Because of the drugs, there's a lot I don't remember, but he tells me that when the weekend was up he asked me to stay. I do remember telling him that if I was staying we had to drive the two hours to Athens so I could get more clothes. I do remember that I didn't tell him until we were almost there that he was going to meet my parents. After a few weeks I had more clothes in his barracks room than he did. During the day, while he was at work, I would hang out in his room and watch DVD's because he didn't have cable. I would spend time on the internet. I would sit outside and smoke and read. On his lunch break he would come check on me, bring me food, and make sure I ate, because I wasn't eating much in those days. He knew I was taking the pain pills, and he understood why. He made sure I didn't stop breathing. And he was the one that talked me into rehab. Less than a month after we met he was sent to WLC at Ft. Benning. At the time I remember thinking that I had known him for so long, but looking back it was only a few weeks. I was heartbroken. He told me I could stay in his room while he was gone, but I didn't want to be alone so I went back home. I went to Columbus and we lived in hotels for a little while during WLC, and I remember loving it. When he wasn't at WLC we watched movies, ate out, talked. He even dyed my hair pink for me. Then he had to go to the field for a week and I went back home. While he was in the field he wrote me love letters, one for every day we were apart. I still have them and I cherish them. When he came home I moved back into his barracks room with him. One night I took too many pills and had a seizure, the last of many. I remember telling him I felt 'seizurish' and he held me. The next thing I knew I was waking up in his arms, my head in his lap, on the floor, a pulse ox monitor on my finger, and him telling me my heart rate was much too high, that I had had a seizure and that he was going to carry me across the street to the ER. If he hadn't been there I'm not sure what would have happened. I know I scared him, I know he was terrified. He took care of me. And thankfully that was the last seizure I ever had. Because of the drugs there is a lot I don't remember about that time. I do remember him making me smile. I remember laying in his arms and watching Grey's Anatomy. I remember feeling safe and cared for. I remember him staying up all night with me a lot of nights, even though he had to work the next day. He must have been exhausted. I remember every day looking forward to his lunch breaks. When it got close to time for him to get off work I would go sit outside on the stairs and wait for him. Summer turned to fall and fall turned to winter. There was a room inspection in the middle of the night one night and they found me in his room and told us that I had to go. They also found my drugs, in an unlabeled bottle, but by some miracle neither of us got in trouble. Not long after that he talked me into going to rehab. A few days before I left for rehab we officially became a couple. He went to Build-A-Bear and made me a stuffed puppy, with a voice recording of him saying 'I love you sweetness' for me to take to rehab with me. That was February 13. I checked into rehab a few days later and I missed him like crazy. He came with my Dad to visit me and I cried and begged him to get me out, and I will never forget the look on his face when he had to leave me there. After rehab we saw each other a lot. He came to my parents house every weekend to see me and eventually I moved back into his barracks room with him. Every day I fell more in love with him, and it's still that way. There's so much more to tell about our early days together but I will save that for another time.

Henry, my one, my soulmate, I love you with absolutely everything I am, always.