Here I Am

I made it through June of my fourth year, though not without immense help from Henry and Cadence. And I am happy. Happy and in love. Two things I never thought I would be again. I look forward to getting up each day, and I look forward to going to sleep every night in Henry's arms. My times of sadness are fewer and farther between. And I thank God and Shawn every day for this life and this love they have given me.

Henry is absolutely amazing, and without him I would be nothing. Hell, without him, I wouldn't even be alive, much less here. I am so very much in love with him. So much so that there are not words to describe this love. And I am blessed enough to have him deeply in love with me too. Every time he tells me he's in love with me, my heart feels like it's going to explode with happiness. I still get butterflies when he holds my hand, my heart still skips a beat when he looks at me, I still get excited when he's on his way home from work, because I know that I will see him soon. Every day with him is love and joy and happiness. That isn't to say we havent had bad times, because we most certainly have. Loving a widow with all of her accompanying baggage isn't easy. I have not been easy, and at times I have not been easy on him. But, we are only more thankful and happy and in love because of the hard times, not in spite of. Every day I am immensely grateful for his love and kindness. Do I still have bad days? Of course I do. But he is always there to pick up the pieces and put me back together again. What an amazing man to love and cherish a widow with all of her hurt and fears. I am not empty anymore, and I thank him and Cadence for that too. Henry has given me a life that I never could have even hoped for. A life, an amazing life, a beautiful, healthy daughter, laughter, love, joy, hope. For all I have lost, I am here, I am strong, I am happy. I am alive, and I am grateful.